“Maybe it’s just me who had enough, maybe people still think this is fun but in my book, you can only pull a thing like this so many times before it gets old.” Those were my closing words in my review of Steel Panther’s last record Heavy Metal Rules (2019). I thought Steel Panther were funny as Hell when they started out and I love – and still love – their debut album Feel The Steel (2009) – and their live shows were laughing fests deluxe. It was like Hard Rock stand-up comedy. The thing is, stuff like this has a short life-span, both the music and the humor goes on repeat pretty much straight away, something I felt already by their second and third albums. That said, those album are really good too and on those records I could still get into the sex, drugs & Rock ‘n’ Roll piss-takes even though the joke had started to fade a bit.
When the band now releases their sixth album it takes just one look at the track-list to see that the only thing that has changed is the bass player spot – Lexxi Foxxx out, Spyder in – and by now everyone knows what they’re gonna get with this lot before you hear a second of the album. Sounds like I’m slagging them off? Well, I really don’t – they’re all still brilliant musicians and they surely know their way around a sharp hook and a catchy refrain and also, they still sell records and draw lots of fans to their concerts. I’m not a big fan of the two latests records mainly because I just don’t think the songs were good enough so hopefully that has changed on album # 6.
The title of the opening track and lead-off single “Never Too Late (To get Some Pussy Tonight)” kinda says it all. After a brief 80’s synth intro the song bursts into a highly energetic late 80’s Hard Rock belter on a kick-ass rhythm with robust riffage and in-your-face vocals. It’s highly melodic yet edgy and tough and holds all elements you need for a live opener complete with a catchy and distinct chorus. Musically it’s a good song with sharp hook but lyrically… well, it’s Steel Panther after all so the moral-bar have to be set low. This is what they do. But the thing is it’s just not funny anymore, at least not for me. It’s more a cringe than a laugh, I’m afraid.
The follow-up “Friends With Benefits” comes on like a bastard child of Ratt and Dokken with a raw energy and 80’s gloss. The album’s third single is a straight forward Arena Rock belter with a distinct hook in a faster pace. It’s a punchy banger that could easily have been written back in 1987 and the chorus might not be for the top of the chart but it’s memorable and does its job. Good one. The latest single “On Your Instagram” hits the nail on its head when it comes to social media so the lyrics gets a thumb up here even though it’s done with the Steel Panther tackiness. The tune is a 1990 smelling power ballad – smooth, slick and somewhat cheesy and holds all the catchy hooks there is. In 1990 it would have been a mega-hit and even in 2023 I think it’s a killer ballad.
“Put My Money Where Your Mouth Is” is a down n’ dirty sleaze-rocker – upbeat, ballsy and live-friendly with a crunchy outlook. It’s a tune that’s all Steel Panther but also a song they’ve written many times before – too many times before. While not bad it just doesn’t stand out at all and feels very middle-of-the-road both musically and lyrically. Second single “1987” is an ode to, well, 1987 and the musical climate that was then. It’s a semi-ballad with chunky stomp, pop-laden melodies and smooth melodies that pays homage to the bands that were big back then. It also holds a magnificent refrain that sticks like glue and as a fan of the 80’s myself I totally embrace this track – it sure takes me back to that decade. It might be cheesy but I dig it.
“Teleporter” rocks hard and is a metal-fueled 80’s Hard Rock cruncher, distinct and direct with punchy rhythms and raucous guitars on a straight ahead note. It’s an uptempo kick-ass rocker with an ok main melody but the chorus falls short and the tune is something of a filler that never sticks. Featuring Dweezil Zappa on guitar, “Is My Dick Enough” is a slower paced tune that brings on a prominent heaviness and an edgy riff with a rowdy guitar sound at the front. It’s a groovy piece that comes across as a mixture of Van Halen’s “Jamie’s Cryin'” and an Aerosmith vibe with Michael Starr’s juvenile lyrics on top – more lyrics that has gotten old in my book. It’s an ok track with an ok chorus but it doesn’t cut it all the way for me.
The semi-ballad “Magical Vagina” is a slow burner, smooth and silky and a time-machine right back to 1989. It opens gently and sombre but takes on a power ballad-ish twist and a big pop-hook. The lame lyrical content aside, this tune is right in my wheelhouse and musically I really appreciate it and the huge chorus sticks right from go. Another song about Starr’s dong is “All That And More” and quite frankly it gets old fast. Musically it’s Steel Panther all the way – stompy melodic Hard Rock with some edgy and crunchy guitars. The drum intro throws a nod to Aerosmith’s “Love In An Elevator” only to transfer into calmer verses yet on chunky stomp. The chorus strikes hard with a distinct Sunset Strip Hard Rock vibe. Good one.
“One Pump Chump” is a balls-out kick-ass rocker with a fierce outlook and a driving riff over a thunderous rhythm-section. The tune comes across as slightly unstructured and one-dimensional and the lyrics about premature ejaculation is plain dull. It’s not one of the band’s better songs – a skipper in my book. “Pornstar” (sigh) starts out stripped and mellow as an acoustic guitar based ballad but soon takes on a early 90’s poppy power ballad structure – slick, smooth and sugary with infectious melodies that are catchier than chlamydia. It’s a lighter-in-the-air power ballad with a sing-along chorus so catchy it hurts.
The mellowness continues in the melancholic and held-back ballad “Ain’t Dead Yet”. It’s an acoustic number, slightly bluesy and stripped down in a slow tempo. The song is about the life of a rock-star and all the shenanigans on the road but also about the fading rock-star status of today. Not as much as a juvenile piss-take the song shows how well this band could work if they re-saddled and became a serious rock band. Good one. The album ends with a crunchy, good-time boogie-rocker, the classic hard-rocker “Sleeping On The Rollaway”. It’s a groovy number with a firey swing, rowdy riffage and solid rhythms where the distinct refrain really grabs a hold. A good tune and a perfect closing track.
It’s really hard to put a fair rating on this record as while I’m so over the pubertal sex, drugs & Rock ‘n’ Roll 80’s piss-take lyrics that are supposed to be funny, there’s still a whole bunch of really good songs on here musically speaking. I know that Steel Panther still draws a good crowd and their records seem to sell enough and get good streaming which tells me this thing still seem to work. But for me personally – and I know I’m not alone here – the lyrical content is recycled time and time and time again and no matter how good the songs are I have issues listening to them because of that. It takes the edge off the music and the musicianship. Man, I wish Steel Panther would change their name, lose the joke and become a serious band. I think they’d stand a good chance of pulling that off.
4/10
More Steel Panther reviews:
Balls Out
All You Can Eat
Lower The Bar
Heavy Metal Rules
Tracklist:
1. Never Too Late (To Get Some Pussy Tonight)
2. Friends With Benefits
3. On Your Instagram
4. Put My Money Where Your Mouth Is
5. 1987
6. Teleporter
7. Is My Dick Enough (feat. Dweezil Zappa)
8. Magical Vagina
9. All That And More
10. One Pump Chump
11. Pornstar
12. Ain’t Dead Yet
13. Sleeping On The Rollaway
CD & Festival reviews 