The more I review an artist/band the harder it get to create a “preface” for the review – unless something really interesting has happened – good or bad – in the time they had between albums. I have reviewed quite a few Lordi albums which makes them one of those bands. I mean, how many times can one write about their fascinating huge win in the ESC or their masks? Sorry, but I can’t come up with anything worthwhile about these Finish monsters anymore. It’s only been two years since they released their last album Monstereophonic and since two years is what they usually take between records, nothing much has happened within the Lordi camp to rave about. So, all that can be done here is to get to the music and see what the guys and girl has come up with since the last album.
What can be said about this album though is that it will – and already has to a certain point – create controversy. Now, I’m not an easily offended person at all and with the risk of being called a PC person, I am not at ease with some stuff on this album. First of all, I find the cover tasteless. In the wake of the metoo movement, a cover of a schoolgirl with a big cleavage tied to a chair with her panties at her ankles leaves a sour taste in my mouth. That picture together with the title and Mr Lordi going “I slip my fingers inside her” and “Sir I’m afraid your daughter needs a sexorcism” in the title track just sounds… wrong. And take a look at the video for “Naked In My Cellar” (“…I will never let you go”). Furthermore lines like “she’s on the edge of 16” (“The Beast Is Yet To Cum”) and “on all fours, begging” just makes me fell uncomfortable. Yes, I know that Lordi has always written tounge-in-cheek lyrics in a dark way but at times I feel the lines have been crossed here. Have I turned mawkishly sensitive? Overreacting? I think not, but I know there are people out there that will think that I’m a jerk for writing this. I couldn’t care less. Do I think that this album should be banned or censored? Hell no, not in a million years. In fact, I’m certain that Lordi have done this solely on purpose – they knew this would stir shit up from go and as we all know, all publicity is good publicity. Rant over, forward to the music.
The opening title track is an uptempo, fast Metal track with big Pop melodies that starts out with a spooky sounding piano. It’s a fairly in-your-face rocker with chugging guitars and a catchy refrain that etches itself to the brain. Good track. The following “Your Tongue’s Got The Cat” is a more groove-laden Melodic Rock tune all done the Lordi way. Parts of the song, especially the riffs, sounds a bit like Treat and the keyboard sound gives the tune a slight feel of power balladry. All over, it’s a very catchy tune and a good choice for a single. “Romeo Ate Juliet” is a more Metal laden rocker, heavy with a big stomp and a huge chorus that’s pretty much contagious. The fact that “Naked In My Cellar” was chosen a single is a bit of a weird choice. To me, this is a standard Hard Rock meets Metal tune that’s plain ordinary. Sure, there’s some good riffing and a chanting refrain, aimed at headbanging. But it doesn’t go anywhere and it don’t feel like a hit. The stupid lyrics certainly don’t help.
“The Beast Is Yet To Cum” is a pretty heavy Metal track where Lordi’s Accept influences shines through from go. It’s tough, rough and aggressive but still very melodic although it just don’t grab me at all. It’s an ok tune with some pubertal porno-filled lyrics that makes me cringe. The Accept vibes stays on for “Polterchrist”, a mid paced and quite heavy tune that comes across as both dark and spooky but with shitloads of catchiness. A great tune and the best one so far. “SCG9: The Documented Phenomenon” is an intermission that sounds like an exorcism – very effective and horror like. “Slashion Model Girls” (about a model that’s been drugged, running for her life…) is really a Melodic Rock track that comes in a mid tempo and flirts with both Hard Rock and Metal. The Pop vibes are all over the refrain which makes the tune catchy as hell and very memorable. Musically, it’s a very good song!
“Rimskin Assassin” (really..?) is a heavy and fast rocker, pop-metal with an in-your-face structure and a bouncy rhythm and a chorus that sticks like glue after the first listen. One of the album’s best tracks. “Hell Has Room” is a riff-happy Metal belter – fat, ballsy and tough with an in-your-face refrain, a headbanging-friendly rhythm that feels like a gut-punch. That said, the song is also very melodic and memorable – very good. “Hot And Satanned” is a straight-forward hard rocker, punchy yet catchy, heavy yet hit-laden. This should have been the leading single, if you ask me – very good! “Sodomesticated Animal” is – despite some very catchy guitar harmonies – just another ordinary Hard Rock / Metal track in the Lordi vein. It’s not bad but it just fails to grab me – an in one ear, out the other tune. The last tune “Haunting Season” is also the best track on the album. With a spooky, creepy and horror-cinematic sound-scape the tune creates a dark atmosphere. Musically, it’s groovy with a steady beat, memorable melodies and a chorus catchier than a super-glued monster-mask. Brilliant.
As a whole, this album is not Lordi’s strongest release but there are a bunch of really great songs on it. The problem is that I have a hard time with it due to the lyrical content. Based on sexual horror, the lyrics are just too macabre no matter if you want to call it dark humour or whatnot. Pervy lyrics that sounds like they’ve been written by a testosterone filled teenager with porn-issues only feels offensive and unnecessary. I’m sure there are people who think this is funny, but I don’t. All that put aside, what you get here is a Lordi album, no more no less. No surprises at all – just melodic pop-metal with big choruses taken straight from the 80’s much in par with the later Lordi releases quality wise – good, not great.
More Lordi reviews:
2. Your Tongue’s Got The Cat
3. Romeo Ate Juliet
4. Naked In My Cellar
5. The Beast Is Yet To Cum
7. SCG9: The Documented Phenomenon
8. Slashion Model Girls
9. Rimskin Assassin
10. Hell Has Room
11. Hot & Satanned
12. Sodomesticated Animal
13. Haunting Season